Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
