I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
