Already got asked if we're dating
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
