If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize