and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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