So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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