On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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