so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
