his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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