She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it glows. i had to have it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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