Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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