Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
