Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
