Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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