I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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