She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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