i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
