If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
