Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry rick_snot hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls

Fav 33 1858 3041
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

Fav 19 3714 1044
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.

Fav 23 1103 4522
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

Fav 26 3945 1428
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

Fav 49 5935 1547
share tweet
(828): View more from North Carolina

Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

Fav 26 1711 8233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

Fav 7 3669 1392
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.

Fav 0 682 399
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.

Fav 0 47 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT