she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I intend to get homeless drunk
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
