I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
