do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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