i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
