So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
