singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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