Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
