Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
