i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
