I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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