You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
