It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
