Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize