We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize