Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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