just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
