Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
