I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I puked a lego.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
