he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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