I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize