I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize