Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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