Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Randomize
