glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
