I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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