THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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