I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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