He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize