oh god the rape fog is back!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
