I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
