jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
