If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
