u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's shark week go big or go home
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
