I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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