you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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