That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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