I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize