I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize