I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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