did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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