I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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