oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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