..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
