dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How's work?
Spinning.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
