I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Only a mothe r could love this liver
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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