Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We had sex on a dog bed..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
