i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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