you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
